Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
