We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
