Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
