I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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