So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's a Shit stain on my heart
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
