i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
