The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im holly from the hills drunk
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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