I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
did you just send me my own nude
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
