Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize