was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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