My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
