please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
