Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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