did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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