I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize