So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
