Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
