Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
