do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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