We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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