you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
