i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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