My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
