i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
