i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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