I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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