I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
