So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
