my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
