Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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