i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
