I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
