Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
