So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
