this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
