The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
