She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
