let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
