I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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