Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
