My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
