Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
