they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
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