Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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