can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
