Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
