I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
