Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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