He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's just like the Real World with babies
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
