so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
