just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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