Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
