Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
