There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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