I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
