oh god the rape fog is back!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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