All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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