it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
