never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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