You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
