i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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