how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
