at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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