I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize