I am puke
I cannot find my penis.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
