the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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